We're moving!

Winning!
Life has happened in 27 cities, and I'm about to embark on #28. 
I couldn't be more excited!!!!!

After a long stint in Augusta, GA, I packed up my place and like a pro, labeled everything in color-coordinated bins and placed in storage.  July 10 will be a big day for #WinnieTheBichon and me - we're moving to a southern spot to let some grass grow around our feet. 

The job will still have me on the road pretty frequently, but at least we'll have a more permanent zip code. 

Cheers!
A

58. Make lots of Powerful Lists......and review them daily

Powerful women make powerful lists.

We took a look at creating Bucket Lists, which is great practice to set and track long-term and lifelong goals.  Since we've got a whole lifetime ahead of ourselves, let's also take a look at other ways to break down goals into daily lists.  These checklists can be very inspirational in a tangible way - and keep us on our toes constantly!

Here's a quick glance at my Short Term Goals List.  Take a look and think about your short term goals, which can be achieved in a short span of time (like 1 day or up to 12 months). 

How can breaking down goals into action items help shift your life into high-happiness gear?

SPIRITUAL

1. Tithe more responsibly
2. Read the Bible in a Year
3. Join a prayer circle
4. Participate in a mission trip with a local church
5. Set up a JustGive.org account for my home church

CAREER

1. Invite 2-3 colleagues in the field to facilitate a webinar
2. Attend conferences that feed my career goals
3. Listen to at least 1 TED talk each week
4. Create a PPT deck in case I ever need to make a presentation on Strategic Fundraising
5. Research board service opportunities

FINANCIAL

1. Commit to saving enough for a down-payment on a home by the end of the year
2. Save $1,000 to contribute to a non-profit cause
3. Reduce credit card debt by 50% this year

HEALTH AND FITNESS

1. Plant a vertical garden
2. Run a 10K in every city where I have an assignment
3. Join a sports team (like kickball!)
4. Buy a bike (or participate in a bike-sharing program)
5. Take a few classes (Krav Maga / Ballet)

LIFE MANAGEMENT

1. Volunteer in a meaningful way
2. Journal robustly
3. Print updated luggage tags
4. Obtain my global drivers license
5. Learn how to drive a stick-shift car

RECREATION

1. Go to a Clemson Bowl Game
2. Learn how to DJ
3. Learn how to Rollerblade
4. Organize a women's networking event/dinner at least once a year
5. Learn and perform a set of songs by Prince

LEARNING

1. Finish a series of language classes (maybe Polish!)
2. Learn how to play chess and poker (and get really good at both!)
3. Collect great facts about my home state

57. Be a part of the Support System for Women in Crisis

 

 

 

 

Ladylike Commentary on the Bill Cosby Epidemic: 

I will not pretend to be judge nor jury, but we do know the truth will surface - even if it has been more than 45 years for some of the women that have spoken out recently.

The only truth that I can embrace is that there must have been a chronically sad display of cultural empathy for human welfare in the 1960's, 1970's, 1980's, 1990's and 2000's (THAT'S OUR LIFETIME, PEOPLE) if a woman - or anyone for that matter- felt overwhelmed by potential condescension, neglect, and/or mistreatment if she voiced, accused, or reported an instance of rape.  

The mental, psychological, and emotional fortitude to withstand rape and molestation - and not see the perpetrator brought to justice - is incredible to me.

No matter how the Cosby case is shaped, we know that this scenario - highlighted only because of his celebrity status - is representative of an unknown number of instances (and in many women's lives, permanent conditions) of sexual abuse.

A few thoughts and questions that came in my brainspace.........

1. It's a dark and dangerous topic, but are women having conversations about this? 
2. Are women exploring the layers that plague rape victims from generation to generation?
3. For rape victims, are there community services that are both visible and accessible to them? 
4. Will insurance carriers support therapy sessions without mandating that rape victims carry the label of being "clinically depressed?"
5. For all the federal, state, and private resources that are available, are women's (and girls') issues appropriately funded in the context of national priorities?

56. Protect your biggest investment and clean your make-up brushes!

We don't use dirty washcloths or soiled toilet paper, right?

I was putting on my bronzer this morning (oh yes, ladies....black girls need bronzer too - especially in the fall/winter months!), and I caught a whiff of something that smelled...well....old.

It's been a minute since I've lavishly laundered my makeup brush collection, and that quaint odor was a horrifying reminder of what else I might be putting on my face besides some iridescent color.

For your reading pleasure, here are a few tips from Lauren Conrad's Beauty School on How to Clean Your Make up Brushes.

Instructions:

1. Begin by running your brushes under lukewarm water, rinsing out all of the residual makeup. Try to focus on the actual bristles while avoiding the part of the brush where handle meets the head, as this can loosen the glue over time
2. Fill a bowl with lukewarm water and a squirt of shampoo, and gently swirl your brush tip in the water. If you need to, you can also swirl the brush in the palm of your hand to work up a lather.
3. Rinse the brush tip under running water once again. Repeat steps two and three until the water runs clear from the brush,
4. Use a cloth to wipe your brush clean, reshaping the bristles as you go.
5. Lay your brushes flat on a cloth to dry.

And there you have it! Your makeup brushes will be as clean a whistle. It’s also worth mentioning that there are specially formulated brush shampoos on the market. A gentle clarifying or baby shampoo will do the trick just fine though.

I think it's also helpful to know what happens when you don't wash your makeup-brushes as often as needed. 

Many thanks to Mandie Williams from The Gloss for posting an article on what happens when you don't clean them thoroughly. Here are 10 Terrifying Things Dirty Makeup Brushes Do to your Face.

 

1. Dirty Brushes Break You Out

 

2. Dirty Brushes = Terrible Color Payoff

 

3. Dirty Brushes are a Circle Jerk for Germs

 

4. Dirty Brushes Cause Skin Irritation

 

5. Dirty Brushes Give You Poo Face

 

6. Dirty Brushes Could Rip Out Your Eyelashes

 

7. Dirty Brushes Give You Herpes and Pinkeye

 

8. Dirty Brushes Ruin Your Investment

 

9. Dirty Brushes Cause Mystery Breakouts and Allergies

 

10. Dirty Brushes are Just the Gateway Drug

 

55. Among asking about the bells and whistles in your new apartment, be sure to inquire about the duct system.

The woman shall ask about the heating and ventilation system in any new residence she is considering.


It went down to 30 degrees last weekend here in Augusta, and after some financial consideration, I made an informed decision to turn on the heat.  Over the summer, my bill got up to more than $300, and so I've been conservative with the controlled temperature, to say the least.

About 2 minutes after turning out the heat, I heard quaint noises coming from the second bedroom.  I grabbed a neighbor to come with me to check it out.  He went towards the vent, lifted the cover, and pulled out three of the tiniest kittens.

As it turns out, the duct system under the home was in such ill-repair that it had become a resting (and nesting) place to a local four-legged friend who also called it home.  The property manager had made all the necessary repairs and the HVAC guys hooked my system UP!  I now get all the heat I'll ever need, and the system under the house is kitty-free.

Next time around, I'll be sure to listen to the great advice of a trusted friend and ask some key questions:

1. Is the place winterized?
2. What is the average electric bill each month?
3. Where is the duct system (attic or under the home)?
4. How long has it been since the ventilation system was thoroughly checked?
5. Does my unit power the common area?

Stay warm,
Allyson

54. Pay to run from bar to bar in a coordinated fashion within a specific time frame. And sip (or chug) at each one. For a good purpose (DUH!)

The woman shall participate in a creatively costumed pub crawl.

Cool people reside in every zip code.  So do cool pub crawls and the committees that plan them.

A pub crawl (sometimes called a bar tour, bar crawl or bar-hopping) is the act of one or more people drinking in multiple pubs or bars in a single night, normally travelling by foot or bus to each destination and occasionally by cycle.

I'd never heard of SantaCon, but the amazing folks in Augusta, GA, have brought me into this universe of creatively costumed Santas, reindeer, elves, and other numerous holiday support characters that shift their patronage from bar to bar every 45 minutes.

With 12 bars to populate from 4:00 pm till midnight strikes, that's a lot of holiday cheer in a glass.

Here's a shot of the 2014 SantaCon Augusta volunteer committee at work viewing the newest clip of some marketing material.   The final version will be edited soon, and we can't wait to share!

The SantaCon in Augusta is pretty special, as it is one of the few crawls that raises money for a charitable cause.  Each year, SantaCon Augusta raises funds and contributes them to a local nonprofit.  This year, we're partnering with the Ronald McDonald Charities of Augusta as they prepare to open a brand new home in the Garden City (y'all go!).

We've got a few more weeks of planning, nailing down some sponsorships.....and finding (or making) really unique costumes.  If you're interested in joining the holiday fete, take a visit here to get your tickets.

If you're not in the Augusta area, no need to fret - I bet there's a crawl somewhere near your zip code.
The SantaCon website lists all the events that are happening around the globe (323 US cities and 44 countries!!!).

If there's not a SantaCon in your hood, make your community the 324th host...and be sure it benefits a good cause.  It's a great way to ensure the season is extra merry:)


Ho, ho, ho!
 Allyson

53. The woman shall protect her heart, for everything she does flows from it.

The woman shall, at all times, protect her heart not only from the nuances of romance, but more importantly, from the unintentional relationship-based liabilities hat she may impose on herself. 

Guard your heart, lovelies, not just so you won't get hurt, but more importantly, so that you continue to be the amazing, energetic life source that God (or whoever rocks your universe) intended you to be. 

In our westernized format of processing love and romance, sex and misplaced emotions serve as our relationship compass. That's not how He intended it to be. 

Guard your hearts by not giving it away too quickly.  As women, we give it ALL up WAY too quickly.

Our love.
Our thoughts. 
Our time.
Our bodies.
Our cooking. 

When we give it all up way too quickly, it has multiple serious implications. We send a signal to the man that:

1) He no longer has to place effort nor interest in pursuing a romantic partnership with us.
He's already got it. 

2) He does not have to value us.
We didn't value ourselves to wait for his investment, too.

In the work to establish and build a fulfilling relationship, there's got to be an investment on both sides, and too often, we invest way too soon. As a result, we give it ALL up way too quickly as part of our investment practices. 

Also, when we give it ALL up WAY too quickly, we place undue burdens on the relationship because our own expectations are now out of proportion.

 When we give it all up way too quickly (at a level that has not been matched by our partner), we fast-forward the relationship at an unrealistic speed - which leaves us drunk and falling down.

When I think of how I'll stop giving it ALL up WAY too quickly, I'll base my investment decisions and timeline not only on my man-list, but also on the man-list that I know Mom had in mind for me. 

Trying to get this right,
Allyson

52. Give, give, and give.

The woman shall give her time, her talent, and her treasures however and whenever she can.

Giving feels sooooooooooo good - no matter the check size, level of recognition, nor recipient - it feels good, yields good, and it is good.

We've been taught to give as part of who we are.  As members of religious communities, citizens of this generous country, and as participants in global humanity, we give. 

We give when natural disasters occur.
We give to the tin cup held by those without homes.
We give to United Way campaigns directly from our paychecks.
We give to the Girl Scouts when we buy cookies.
We give to numerous causes through the donate-a-dollar option at the cash register.
We tithe.
We volunteer.
We mentor.

Giving is a habit and attitude that is ingrained in our culture both for the benefit of others...
and ourselves. 

What we don't always do, and what I certainly haven't always done, is give regularly.  I've given cheerfully, but not consistently.  I'm working on that piece, and there have been a couple tools to help me along the way. If you're working on the same thing, hopefully, these ideas can help you along your way.

1. Research and become a member of an organization that you wish to support.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  Well.....keep giving back in your sight:)  Research the organizations that you care the most about.  What's your passion? 

I bet there's a phenomenal organization that enacts a mission in
advocacy
healthcare
the arts
education
social services
that you really dig. 

For the past years, I've researched awesome organizations and asked them to sign me up!

Even though I don't live near all the organizations, contributions help ensure that I support their work for all the communities they serve.  As a member,  I receive frequent reminders about campaigns, fundraising drives, and end-of-year contribution opportunities, which keeps giving back on my radar.

2.  Serve as a board member.  Being a board member offers such great discourse about active giving for a specific purpose.  It's my second year as a board member of the Community Investment Network, and being a part of this dynamic organization has been incredibly enriching.  Giving back is a major component of board service, and it's a privilege to know that you're supporting an organization's work at this level. It makes you responsible about your giving.

3.  Give through automatic deduction.  I was over the moon when an organization that I like to contribute to incorporated an automatic deduction tool to coordinate monthly contributions.  If the organization asked me EVERY month for a donation, that might get annoying.  For me to give a certain amount automatically (and receive an automatic thank you note) each month - I can get down with that!  Take a look at Justgive.org to learn more.


4.  Read about giving.   Check the excerpt from the Good Book below.  We know there are more academic sources, but this is where it all starts for me.  If there are other scriptures that you wish to share, let us know!

Luke 6:38

New International Version (NIV)
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
New Living Translation
"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full--pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back."

51. Bucket Lists

The woman shall, in order to live an aspirational, fulfilling, proactive, and self-directed life, record and execute a bucket list - and look back at it!

We live life in lists - to-do lists, grocery lists, man lists, woman lists, Christmas card recipient lists...and well..the "list" goes on.  One list I've got to work on though (and perhaps you, too?), is the Bucket List. 

The trouble with the bucket list practice is that there are, at times, hefty price-tags attached, and that's always been my stumbling block.  Everything that I want to do is sooooooooooo cost prohibitive, and so I've elected to stay away from producing one.

To my great discovery, though, I recently saw a Facebook post from a very inspirational lady (and proud fellow Clemson alum), and it was so cool to see all of her fun, adventurous, and terrifically interesting items that make for a really cool list.  It was even more awesome to see how many friends were willing to lend their time, talent, and treasures to help reach her goals. 

That was just enough motivation for me to put in some work, and I've compiled the list below.  I'll revisit this blog post on January 4, 2015 to see what I can cross off and what I can add.  Here's to a list of fulfilling fun in 2014! 


ALLYSON'S BUCKET LIST...well, an abbreviated version
(always in draft form, because stuff will be crossed off and added, per life's serendipitous generosity :)

1. Plant a vertical garden
2.  Run a marathon
3.  Type my Mom's journals
4.  Attend a NASCAR event
5.  Tailgate at a Philadelphia Eagles game
6.  Hobnob at the Kentucky Derby
7.  Create and maintain an Official Woman Laws website
8.  Perform a set of songs by Prince at a jazz spot (that means I have to learn how to sing!)
9.  Graduate from a culinary school program and master Spanish food
10. Complete TESOL certification and teach abroad
11.  Learn how to play chess
12.  Learn how to drive a stick shift
13.  Learn how to sing I know I've been changed
13.  Learn Polish
14.  Make really great sushi
15.  Buy a home when the time is right, and with lots of confidence
16.  Run for elected office
17.  Go to the Olympics
18.  Go to Essence Music Festival
19.  Visit Greece
20.  Serve on the board of an arts museum

50. 401k Plans

Suze Orman,upon learning that I emptied my 401k years ago.

 



The official woman shall, upon the beginning of an employed scenario, immediately engage in a 401k plan - and vow to never empty it.

 

As soon as I started my post-grad school job, I got signed up for a 401k and felt soooo official.  Then I got the chance to move to Italy- and I emptied it.

 

"I need the caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash," I told myself.  So I quickly forgave it all and skipped across the big pond off to the adventure of a lifetime.

 

Fast forward a few years, and until this August, I'd been intimated to get started again.  The paperwork was too burdensome, I didn't want anything deducted from my check...blah, blah, blah.

 

Then my good friend Nichelle (a compensation expert for a huge corporate giant) looked at me cross-eyed when I told her my conundrum, and she made me ultra-accountable for getting signed up.  On Monday morning, I was in touch with HR, and by 10:05 a.m. I was signed up - portfolio preferences and all.

 

A kicker is that my company starts matching - but only after December 31st of my initial year of being enrolled.  If that's the same for your companies, stop leaving money on the table!  You've got some time  to get it lined up, lovebirds.  Let's go!

 

 

 

 

49. Royal Gametime

The informed woman shall avoid phoning, texting, sexting, arranging dates, and/or planting seeds of argumentative discourse prior to, during, and immediately after major professional and/or college games of any sport.

We're fresh off the Louisville beat-down over Michigan in the NCAA finals, and I'm remembering a thoughtful Facebook reminder from my highly evolved gentleman friend Antoine in Raleigh.

During the game, he typed off the wise notion that ladies should avoid facilitating any deep, meaningful conversations (in person, via phone or text) during the hours of the televised game, as we'll be left bewildered and bemused at the one-sided conversation.

That's why I got a message first thing the next morning. Duh!

48. Lovely Loungewear

The woman shall incorporate in her wardrobe key pieces that are suitable for grocery store visits, lounging with friends, and midnight clandestine visits to the coffee shop (or other covert locations).

There is no excuse for anyone - let alone the highly evolved woman - to leave her home in anything remotely similar to pajamas.  There shall be none of the Hello Kitty PJ pants or SpongeBob sweatshirts outside of the comfort of a woman's home.

My good friend Becky in Ottawa always disciplined us for wearing the stretchy pants in public - thanks for that!  The act of putting on yoga pants or sweats is no more easier than putting on a nicely fitting pair of jeans, and if you know what you have available, it take no more time to select them either.

If you're not going to a yoga session, don't wear yoga pants when you're out and about.

If you're not going to the gym, ditch the spandex and sweats.

If you're not going to bed....I can't even go there.

Have a reliable uniform for your emergency trips out - something you can count on to keep you looking polished and put-together with minimal effort. 

You never know who you're going to run into - and where y'all might end up! 

47. Morning Hair

The woman shall always do something to her hair (brush, wrap, pin, tie, slick down, or cover) before facing the scrutiny of the public eye. 

From simply looking at a woman's hair, one can tell when a woman has just rolled out of bed, weathered a windstorm, or is stressed out.  There is no excuse, ladies for us to look unkempt, disheveled, or lazy.

I had a 7:30 a.m. team meeting in NYC this past Thursday morning, and some of my lady colleagues looked a hot mess.  You could smell the sleep on them!  I'm the only Negrita on my team, and so our hair stories might read a bit differently.  Maybe it's just me, but it's so easy to run a comb/brush through your hair, and my Caucasian lovelies have it a bit easier here, it seems. 

No matter our texture, curl pattern, or courseness, our appearance is such a reflection of our attention to detail, our hygiene, and our professionalism.  We gotta get it together!

Start with a $100 hair cut.  It's so worth it!  Be sure to choose a stylist who knows your hair texture, has the wisdom to observe the shape and structure of your face, and can give you a cut that suits your lifestyle.  I abhor doing my hair in the morning (I've been a naturally curly girl since 1998, y'all!), but I take heed to honor the necessity of a well-suited hair cut.

Next, have your products and tools handy at all times.  Pop a brush in your bag.  Have some curl spritz handy to pump up a diminishing mane throughout the day.  Carry bobby pins in your wallet to pin down naughty tendrils.  Know your hair, and know what it takes to maintain a polished look throughout your day.

Grandmom always said that a woman's hair is her glory.   I don't use hot combs or coconut hair grease anymore, but the adage remains golden so many years later.

46. Running Dates

The woman shall train for and participate in a running-based competition in her community (preferably a fund-raiser for a cause she cares a lot about).

Running is such an easy way to maintain great energy, keep your physique in check, and bond with other ladies in an encouraging way.  I've run in springtime 10K's before, but training in the winter is a relay of a different race!

For the past few months, I've been on a treadmill, but testing the pavement is so much more intense and challenging, especially on a brisk morning in New England.  To add, my good friend Meshie in Hartford - a certified runner who is training for an upcoming Ragnar Relay - tolerated my turtle's pace and kindly boosted my self-esteem on the last few steps of our uphill run. 

I've just joined the Hartford community of Black Girls Run, and I'm so excited to keep up with other Hartford lovelies who are Preserving the Sexy. I'll put a few of the Hartford Races on the calendar, and hopefully I'll be able to observe some progress over the coming months.

I'll commit to running outside for the next month, and Meshie has promised to not put me to too much shame when run the same route in 30 days.  

Hopefully, it won't take me quite as long :)

45. Winter Sports

The woman shall, during each winter and when reasonably affordable, indulge in a winter sport that tests her courage and inspires the thrill of her heart.

I'm back from a fantastic weekend spent in Tamworth, NH, where 4 girlfriends and I took major risks on the slopes.  Well, technically, we never made it to the actual slopes (per the ski instructor's emphatic warnings).  Rather, we stayed on the Magic Carpet and at times, ventured onto the Rope Tow (we knew to stay in our lane!). My good friend Nakia in Boston orchestrated the getaway - cabin, food, wine, and all - thanks, lady!

It was a bit disheartening to watch toddlers swiftly loop and swerve around us, but we gave it our best. It was an incredible time, and topped off with an evening of tubing, we felt like we were kids again.  Next year, ladies, I'm gearing up for the lift!

44. Sunday Best

The woman shall, when attending a Christian church, dress accordingly to honor her environment, her faith, and the special meaning of Sunday service.

This is a special note, and it's a very personal one that not all readers will agree with, and that's okay.  Feel free to check out the next law:)

I'm just back from Easter service, and as a faithful southern church goer, I get excited about dressing up for church.  Back in the day, I can remember white patent leather shoes, frilly dresses and sometimes a white hat with a pastel ribbon - oh, and a purse to match!  Easter was a special time in my childhood, and it was the introduction to all things prim, proper, and ladylike.

We now live in an age where everything is casual.  There are casual Fridays, casual dating, casual dinner, etc.  Some people do prefer that - but every once in a while special events, dating someone special, and going somewhere special puts a twinkle in our eye.  For me, Sunday morning church service brings that twinkle.

I was really suprised during service today - Easter Sunday - to see so much casual attire on such a special day.  This seemed like a dressy church (you can always tell by the hats that the elder mothers of the church wear), and it was a bit disruptive to see fishnets, baseball caps, and lingerie -inspired dresses. 

I've picked up a few fashion rules from church divas, and here are a few to share:

1. If you're wearing a short-ish skirt/dress, carry a cloth handkerchief or a scarf to cover your knees (thanks to Miss Chris from Charleston).
2. Always cover your back.  Event if your dress is spare back there, carry a cardigan (thanks to Renee in NYC).
3. If you're wearing closed toe pumps, wear hose.  To pick your color, check out this Law.  

I understand that people must wear what they have and that attire should never prohibit one from attending church - that's not what this law is about. Rather, this law is about preserving the special meaning of Sunday service. There was a time when you had your Sunday best, and that's what you gave to God on His special day - your best. Perhaps this law is also about missing a simpler, more reverent time. Maybe this lil' law is just for me. Well, it's for me and all the Carrie's of the world who wear gloves to service.

43. Her Higher Learning

The woman shall immerse herself in projects, classes, and activities that enhance her intelligence, increase her intellectual curiosity, and provide access to an elevated level of thinking and decision-making. 

For me, school ended at the last degree almost 10 years ago.  After wrapping up grad school at Boston University, I was just tired of books, papers, assignments, tests, and the ever-endearing series of finals.  I've not been enrolled in a class (well, except the short-lived Italian course while I lived in Torino) since graduating, and I was pretty pleased to leave it at that.

My good friend Angela in DC has recently inspired an academic self-indulgence for me.  Even though she's miles away, Angela is making moves to earn her doctoral degree, and at the same time she's ignited a precious motivation within me to get my brain fired up again.  While I don't think I'm ready to be a full-timer again, I am collecting ideas on how to re-engage in learning in a fun and exciting way. 

Here are a few things I'm considering, looking forward to your thoughts!

1. Language CD's.  I'd picked up some Italian, but I'm afraid it's become quite broken over the past few years.  With the next paycheck, I'll pick up some language CD's and groove to learning Italiano on my daily commute.
2. Conference Groupie.  I love conferences, and I've got to make more investments in these knowledge exhanges.  I'll check around the Hartford and Boston areas for cool 2-3 day crash sessions.
3. Certifications.  It's incredible to earn awards and accolades!  It marks an amazing accomplishment, and whether it's for Zumba or CPR, becoming certified in something new keeps your curiosity fresh and your intelligence sharp.

Keep the books open, ladies!

42. Sexy Smoothies

The woman shall periodically experiment with the vegetable, fruit, and herbal blends that delight her smoothie palette.

For years, I've blended frozen fruit and orange juice every morning.  I love that it usually takes 2 minutes, due in part to my colorfully and nutritionally well-stocked refrigerator.  I've since experimented with new blends, and it's a fantastic way to get a good portion of nutritional value under my belt for the day. 

Also, I'm not huge on cooking full meals daily (it's tough for a single working gal!), but my smoothies ensure that I get my leafy green treats every day.

Here are a few ideas on smoothie prep - if you have any, send 'em my way!

1.  Switch up the juice base - I used to use orange juice, and then I saw how much sugar I was consuming!  I switched to using V8 blends (usually the Light version).  That always offers some variety in taste, and I feel less guilty.
2.  Adjust the color - Usually my smoothies are a pretty orange, but I 've decided to totally vegetize my smoothies lately.  I'm making blends of spinach, kale, pineapple, and mint (thanks to Jamie from Winnipeg!), which results in a dark green concoction.
3.  Freeze smoothie ingredients immediately - Fresh vegetables are always arranged for family-size consumption, and while I guess I could go through an entire bundle of kale in two days, chances are I won't.  So, as soon as I buy fresh greens, I wash, cut, and freeze half of the portion.  That way, they'll be smoothie-ready!  I also use fresh pineapple and papaya, and I do the exact same thing.  Sidebar - to prevent the chunks from sticking together in the freezer (like cement sometimes!!!!), I re-use freezer bags and pack the fruit so that the bags are very flat.  That makes the fruit much easier to separate when you're ready to make your smoothie.
4.  Don't go nuts on spending - I've got a $150 juicer sitting in the box; I'll use it someday - I promise!  I found that it was simply too complicated to use and clean daily. I use the $10 individual smoothie maker that I bought at a neighborhood drugstore.  It's perfect because it makes just what I need for my single smoothie, and I can remove it from its base and take it with me to enjoy during the morning commute.


Hope these are helpful!

41. Tip Drills

The woman shall know the correct tip appropriation for her drinks, dining, or treating a highly evolved gentleman to either of the two.

After wrapping up a great meal with a Prosecco, tiramisu, or coffee with Baileys, we know that great conversation will eventually conclude and the bill will be requested.  When we're rolling solo (or with a gentleman that we want to treat), boldly ask for the bill, and already have in your mind the correct percentage for the tip - and always leave a tip.  There's no bigger turn-off than lingering over the math calculations when the bill is presented - and it doesn't matter if you're a guy or gal.

My rule of thumb is that a tip should be the greater of $5 (which would cover a few beers) or 20% (a VERY quick calculation).

Say the bill is $20 at a favorite bar.  Leave a $5 tip for good measure - you'll probably come back!

For bigger bills, employ the 10% twice rule, and adjust accordingly.  Say you're at a fancy schmancy restaurant where your bill is $75- don't DARE pull out a tip card!  10% is $7.50.  Double that to 20%, which will bring you to a $15 tip.  The official woman will know how to do this math in her head.  If there is doubt, round up.

Do the math in your head and sign the check.  Boldly.  You're worth it.

Side note - If you're on a date where the gentleman treats, and the man asks you to calculate the tip, he probably wants you to acknowledge the cost of the meal.  In that case, tip twice as much.  The official man would never allow the bill to even come up in conversation with the official woman.  Plus, the official man knows the value of his own dollar.

This law comes courtesy of Renee (New York, NY).

40. Man Fasts

The woman shall, during periods of dating-life suffocation, interupt the season of romantic pursuits by engaging in a purpose-filled man-fast.

You'd think that after 16 years of practicing something, you'd be good at it right?  That's how long I, along with several highly regarded girlfriends, have been dating, and we haven't found the right stride in quite some time.

We've had some great relationships in our past, but dating in our 30's is very different from dating in our 20's, and sometimes this calls for an evaluation of what we want for our lives.  For the past year, I've buried myself in an extravaganza of failed attempts to make doomed relationships work, and I am sooooooooooo tired.  I feel like the dating life has beat me up - literally.  I've lost sleep, experienced ups and downs with my appetite, and observed lots of lows in the feel-good hormones section.

After my last encounter with a relationship renegade, my good girlfriends talked me into a month-long manfast.  For the next 24 days, I'll not pursue empty love, drool over secret cruches, or stalk former love interests on Facebook.  That's a waste of time. 

I've been engaged in the manfast for about a week now, and my energy has definitely shifted for the better.  Here are a few tips that I've jotted down to keep me (and my accountability partner) on track:

Rules of the manfast:

1. We'll not advance commitments of time, energy, and space towards romantic possibilities.  We'll spend time if asked, but the suggestion cannot come from us.
2. We'll not give any headspace to men.romance.sex.relationships.   If we catch ourselves daydreaming about a wedding, we'll do yoga.
3. We'll not aggrandize genuine interest from highly evolved gentlemen.  Instead, we'll take it at face value and let the pace define itself. 

We'll let you know how the monthlong story goes.