Monday, February 4, 2013

40. Man Fasts

The woman shall, during periods of dating-life suffocation, interupt the season of romantic pursuits by engaging in a purpose-filled man-fast.

You'd think that after 16 years of practicing something, you'd be good at it right?  That's how long I, along with several highly regarded girlfriends, have been dating, and we haven't found the right stride in quite some time.

We've had some great relationships in our past, but dating in our 30's is very different from dating in our 20's, and sometimes this calls for an evaluation of what we want for our lives.  For the past year, I've buried myself in an extravaganza of failed attempts to make doomed relationships work, and I am sooooooooooo tired.  I feel like the dating life has beat me up - literally.  I've lost sleep, experienced ups and downs with my appetite, and observed lots of lows in the feel-good hormones section.

After my last encounter with a relationship renegade, my good girlfriends talked me into a month-long manfast.  For the next 24 days, I'll not pursue empty love, drool over secret cruches, or stalk former love interests on Facebook.  That's a waste of time. 

I've been engaged in the manfast for about a week now, and my energy has definitely shifted for the better.  Here are a few tips that I've jotted down to keep me (and my accountability partner) on track:

Rules of the manfast:
  1. We'll not advance commitments of time, energy, and space towards romantic possibilities.  We'll spend time if asked, but the suggestion cannot come from us.
  2. We'll not give any headspace to   If we catch ourselves daydreaming about a wedding, we'll do yoga.
  3. We'll not aggrandize genuine interest from highly evolved gentlemen.  Instead, we'll take it at face value and let the pace define itself. 
We'll let you know how the monthlong story goes.

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